'I'm a full-time carer - people don't realise they're one accident away from my life'

An unpaid carer has issued a stark warning to people who are not yet caring for a disabled loved one.

Katy Styles from Canterbury is a former geography teacher who became a full time carer in 2014 to look after her husband Mark who has motor neurone disease. The 57-year-old now also cares for her elderly mum who has a series of strokes and is nearly blind and her mother-in-law who has dementia.

She said: “There are many people who aren’t carers yet who don’t understand what their lives will be like. People always think there’s a system in place but there isn’t. People assume there’s help out there but there really isn’t."

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“This is particularly hitting women of a certain age when they may have children, will be hitting the menopause and then have to give up work. There are so many people who don’t realise they are one accident away from becoming a carer for a partner or loved one.”

Katy has spoken out about her life as a report is published by the Institute for Public Policy Research (IPPR) warning lack of formal social care and our aging population means millions more people will have to start caring for a loved one in the years to come. Many will have to quit their jobs to care.

Katy told the Mirror : “I was a geography teacher for nearly 20 years and I initially went part time to help care for my father who had prostate cancer. Around then it became clear that Mark was having trouble walking and it wasn’t long before we discovered he had a rare form of motor neurone disease.

“I left work in 2014 and that was when it became clear I was a full-time carer. Like many carers, I didn’t identify as a carer and I didn’t know what my rights were.”

Katy, who has set up support group We Care, gets by on a “pitiful” Carers Allowance of £83.30 a week. She explained: “The hours I’m doing is increasing and me and my husband don’t feel like we have any agency over our lives at the moment. We just can’t plan anything."

“Just today I called my mother like I do every morning to check she’s ok and she hasn’t answered. My brother is on his way round now to check on her. Just last week we were in A&E with her because we thought she had had another stroke but it seems like she had a seizure.

“With my family having these three different conditions their care pathways are all different. There are motor neurone support groups but because my mum is frail and blind there doesn’t seem to be anyone interested in providing support and it’s really hard to get hold of a GP. And supporting someone to live at home with dementia is really difficult.”

The IPPR report out today warns lack of formal social care is driving people to quit their jobs as the numbers providing over 35 hours of unpaid care a week have increased by 70%.

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Analysis by the Joseph Rowntree Foundation shows full-time unpaid carers in England have increased from 1.1 million in 2003/04 to 1.9 million in 2023/24. At the same time applications for formal social care support for our aging population went up by 15% but this has only been met with a 2.5% increase in those receiving it.

The Mirror has launched the Fair Care for All campaign calling for social care to be properly staffed and funded. The Government has promised to establish a new “National Care Service” but this has been delayed pending a national review. It comes after successive governments ditched or delayed plans to reform the thorny issue of how to fund social care.

Katy added: “I haven’t had a break since 2022 when I had three days away. That was lovely but you still worry about the people at home. Many carers are in the same situation, especially parent carers of children with special educational needs."

“It’s so difficult. We get referred to as an ‘army of carers’ but we’re not an army. We’re not superheroes. We’re running on empty and are on our knees. We can’t wait any longer for a government to decide what to do with social care.”